April Fool's Eve

(You can tell how tired I am...I typed the title for this post and this is what ran through my head: isn't it funny that Eve came after Adam but Eve means the day before something actually happens?)

I must admit I have absolutely no good ideas for April Fool's day tomorrow. I am not sure I can top the past two years.

First, a fake engagement that pulled off like a charm. People were calling me and my roommate all day and for the next while to find out for sure.

Second, one that worked way better than I thought it would: a fake mission call to Ukraine. I'm not joking, MONTHS later I had people wondering why I was still was around, when did I enter the MTC?

Chuckle, chuckle.

Perhaps I'll just enjoy everybody else's efforts this year :)

Also, general conference was awesome today. Everything was very inspired.
I can't help but notice how sweet Richard G Scott always is about his wife, dang!

:)

Victor

"Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face." 

Victor Hugo, Les Miserables

Just in time for the pre-finals weeks.

:)

Right & Nice

It's really easy for us to make the views of other people seem silly.

I cringe inside when I hear people bashing on other perspectives like that--"logically" ridiculing them.

I even wince when it is someone who shares a perspective with me does this to others.

Cuz I've heard the opposite side, using the same method to make what I think seem ridiculous.
Neither side accomplishes much in terms of convincing the other.

However.

I still believe that truth exists. Unvarying, absolute truth regardless of circumstance.
Kinda a bold statement, eh?

For a while I really struggled trying to find a balance between respecting what others believed but believing that there is a real answer somewhere.
Wanna know what I found?

For one thing, we don't always understand the truth as well as we think we do. We're all a few puzzle pieces short of a masterpiece.
For another, beating people over the head with truth when we find it (or think we find it) doesn't make them like us, or that truth, very much.
Lastly, even if an idea we have is 100% right, our actions are 100% wrong when we treat people badly.

Don't get me wrong....I think we should definitely stand strong in our beliefs...keeping in mind the three things above.

There is value in coming up with logical defenses or evidence for what we believe/think.

But when you do that...are you trying to get more informed?
Or are you trying to win? To be right?
(Ok. Ok. I'll get off my soap box long enough to acknowledge my own weakness at this. Why the heck do we humans feel the need to come off as right all the time?? We know we aren't always right! Sigh. Someday I guess we'll get over ourselves ha!)
(Tangent--this just made "all I do is win, win, win no matter what!...hands go up! and they stay there, and they stay there!" pope into my head. Whoa. Meaning pop into my head)

Let's just be nice even when we're right. Deal? :)

How do you measure your standing in life? By arguments you win or points you prove? (Guilty. Who likes being wrong ha?) I don't think any of us would really say our satisfaction in life comes from being right. But sometimes we forget. So it's good to remember :) Ha! Reminds me of:

And all this reminds me of a speech by Dallin H. Oaks:
http://www.lds.org/broadcasts/article/ces-devotionals/2011/10/truth-and-tolerance?lang=eng&query=dallin+h+oaks+truth+tolerance+ces

Brilliant.

:)

PS (3/29) Just got back from CS Lewis Society--a fabulous book club ha. A few of the ideas bouncing around there expanded my thoughts:
-Truth is not only seeing the same things from different/better perspectives, it is opening yourself to completely new things.
-Learning doesn't mean you stop and limit yourself to what you just discovered. It means you realize so much more is possible than you thought before.
-That being said, I loved what one girl said (quoting a professor): don't be so open-minded that your brain falls out :) I feel like drifting through life without really believing anything is an equally dangerous opposite of being closed-minded.

Kthanks :)

Pocket Full o Sunshine

I'm in a writing mood today. Lots of good thoughts have come my way lately.
I don't even know where to begin.

One, not to be cliche, but I have to say that I feel so dang blessed for everyone in my life, past or present.
You all make me so dang happy!
I wish everyone could have it as good as me.

Two, L. L. Barkat wrote a short little poem I liked:
"I am
two folded wings,
waiting
for a stirring of air."

Three, I'm getting so unbelievably excited for sunshine and warmth. I forget how much I love it til it is back, and it makes me feel alive again!

Four, despite my writing-motivating mood, I do have a lot to do so I shall have to leave it at that.

Life is good y'all!

:)

Adventure

Ha. Ironic that my last post was about fully loving wherever life brings you to.
Cuz right now I'm trying to figure out what the heck I'm gonna be doing once this semester ends.

Where should I live/work??

Places my dear roommate and I have been considering for employment this summer:

Vancouver (Washington, not Canada)

Seattle

Southern California somewhere

Alaska

A cruise ship

Even somewhere in Southern Utah!

Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy where I am.

I know I would be very happy even if I ended up staying in good ol' Provo to work.

But I'm craving an adventure! A new place!

I'd be quite happy anywhere I end up. But where in the world will that be??

Housing is a daunting factor to consider.

As is job hunting. 

(Mostly the first thing.)

We shall see what happens!

:)

Holland or Disneyland

Emily Perl Kingsley wrote an essay, entitled Welcome to Holland, when she found out her son was diagnosed with Down Syndrome. A woman named Jill wrote a reply. 
I think both are interesting and lovely. 

Welcome to Holland
"When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip to Italy.
You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum, the Sistine Chapel, Gondolas. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After several months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. 
Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland!"
"Holland?" you say. "What do you mean, Holland? I signed up for Italy. I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So, you must go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's just a different place.
It's slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy.
But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around. You begin to notice that Holland has windmills. Holland has tulips. And Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that experience will never, ever, ever, go away. The loss of that dream is a very significant loss.
But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland."

Jill compares her experience as going to the Magic Kingdom instead of Holland.
The whole reply by Jill:
http://riversofjoy21.blogspot.com/2009/07/welcome-to-holland-i-dont-think-so.html 



Excerpt: 

"Raising my child with a disability is like discovering freedoms, dreams, adventures, hopes and opportunities that I didn't know even existed.   And I can't get on the bandwagon fast enough. I can't buy up enough travel guides and maps and I devour each and every one. I go online and share with my new friends who have also been to the Magic Kingdom...I am happy. Encouraged. Delighted. Never alone. I have experienced depths of love deeper than what anyone ever told me I would. I never want to leave this place.

I am not supposed to be anywhere else on earth.

I have not experienced a loss of any kind."

I think those are both cool perspectives..........but on a level more applicable to life in general since I don't have any kids at all..............this applies to life in general!

Be happy, encouraged, and delighted with your life. Be you in Holland, Italy, or the Magic Kingdom.

:)

My Wish

Every time I hear these words, I'm struck with the thought that they are some of the most selfless I've ever heard. Truly wishing somebody else complete happiness.
Even when your paths in life separate.

(At least that is what it means to me.)

That's kinda an amazing feeling.

Also, it has some good advice for personal use :)

"I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow
And each road leads you where you want to go.
And if you're faced with a choice and you have to choose
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.

And if one door opens to another door closed
I hope you keep on walkin' til you find the window
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile.
But more than anything, more than anything.

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold.

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too.
Yeah, this is my wish.

I hope you never look back but you never forget
All the ones who love you and the place you left.
I hope you always forgive and you never regret
And you help somebody every chance you get.

Oh, you'd find God's grace in every mistake
And always give more than you take.
But more than anything, yeah more than anything


My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small.
You never need to carry more than you can hold.

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too.
Yeah, this is my wish....

Yeah this is my wish
(My wish for you)"

Rascal Flatts-My Wish

:)

1,2,3

A few things on my mind :)

1. A.
"...even so I desire that ye should 

stand fast in this liberty wherewith 

ye have been made free, 

and that ye trust no man to be a king over you..."

Mosiah 23:13

B. 

I have a teacher right now who frequently says, 

"The person responsible for the decision must be the one to make the decision."

I've been thinking about these ideas a lot. 

And ya know? Realizing this has made making decisions easier.
(Though not in matters of choosing restaurants, activities, movies, etc. I'm not sure I will ever become more decisive in those areas ha!)

Owning my responsibility makes decisions less scary somehow.

Yeah...if I make the call, the consequences land on my shoulders for better or for worse...and certainly I should be open to all good advice and inspiration that come my way...

but lately, I guess, I've just again been really struck by the power we have to create our own lives.

Lots of things we can't control. Lot's of things we can.

People can choose.

2. I'm pursuing a career based around the idea that we can always be better. I'm part of a religion that celebrates this same idea.

I'm also privy to
-A world where statistics indicate how we will all generally end up.
-Research that says people exposed to certain conditions will turn out certain ways.
-Advertisements calculated to make us respond in specific ways.
-Wise advice that says people change here and there, but in general they are who they are, and we shouldn't be disappointed or too hopeful that they'll be different someday.

None of those things are necessarily bad.

But, building upon the first conclusion I have come to (people can choose), I've realized all of our predispositions and circumstances may influence who we are, but they certainly don't dictate that.

Because people can choose,
People can change. 

3. When I shadowed an OT in the pediatric hospital last semester, he was constantly saying things like this to clients:
"This is hard, huh? But that's ok, cuz you can do hard things, right?"

Right!

Decisions aren't always easy. Change isn't always easy. But

People can do hard things.

:) :)

Rage

I discovered this poem in the book Matched by Ally Condie. (When I later read Hunger Games, the two series seemed similar to me.) Anyway, some of the lines from this jump to my mind now and then. 

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night by Dylan Thomas:

"Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at the close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,

Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light." 

In the book there was a deeper political significance to the poem, but when I read it, I'm inspired to...hmmm, how to describe it?

To grapple with life--to shape it and let it shape me in good ways. To not be complacent with letting life pass by.

I work with people who are getting up there in years. Most common frustration? Not being able to do things anymore. So I'm gonna take advantage now of being able to do...everything! And keep on doing everything til I can't no mo'!
:)

Key to Happiness

What do you think the key to happiness is?

{Insert your answer.}

Are you living like you believe that?

:)

Inspired

Today has been a thinking day.
Some thoughts:

-All of us human beans are so different. We are into such a wide spectrum of things! Wrestling and motorcycle gangs doesn't do it for me. But if that's what you love, right on :)
I've never really felt like I had a real niche in terms of "artist" or "athlete" or "cook" or anything like that. I like to do lots of things. Just not particularly talented or interested enough to be super focused on any area.
That works too I guess.
I have a friend who frequently gives the great advice,
"Just rock whatchyou got." :)


-I was told today that life is about owning your decisions.
For example, I could spend my life on pinterest or facebook or video games or knitting or whatever (I only claim to love some of these ;)). But that isn't just life passing me by. That's a choice.
Face it.
Too scared or bitter or distracted to move forward or change paths? Understandably hard. But a choice, nonetheless.

-Balance. Ready for more from that book I read? Kdeal. (Anne Michaels--Fugitive Pieces)
"It's a mistake to think it's the small things we control and not the large, it's the other way around! We can't stop the small accident, the tiny detail that conspires into fate: the extra moment you run back for something forgotten, a moment that saves you from an accident--or causes one. But we can assert the largest order, the large human values daily, the only order large enough to see."

Funny, cuz I feel like I frequently hear things like, "Just take care of the small things" or "it's the little things that matter."
To which I say: yes.
I think when we freak out worrying about little things we miss their point. And we probably miss a lot of them. But when we put the big-picture, important things first...the little things seem to stem from that.

(Slightly ugly picture. But doesn't it take you back to that object lesson from your youth??)

-What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!
Yeah. No. Yeahno?
Obviously this phrase isn't 100% accurate...but aside from this song being stuck in my head, today I've really been thinking a lot about who I am as a person as a result of life thus far.
Decisions that have changed me. People who have changed me.
I've probably brought a lot of the hard times on myself..but today I just feel ultra grateful for the strength to move onward and upward.

:)