Dec 28, 2011

Worth It

I am in love with the song Closer by Philmont.

"...This is life
And I am passing through.
But this world has been caught lying
About what it is I'm here to do.
This is life.

It's mine to waste or use.
But it's time that I decided,

It's time for me to choose.
Cause who am I
That you would die to prove
That the worthless are all worth it.
The curse has been removed.
So this is life
And though I'm passing through
I wanna live as if I'm dying
Dying to get close to you."


Dec 23, 2011

My Christmas Carol Ramble

Honesty is scary.
Especially when you are trying to be honest with yourself.

What if you peer into your soul and don't like everything you see?

What if you catch glimpses of light that you never quite measured up to?

What then?

In August I posted a music video by Nick Vujicic. One line rings through my head frequently:

"Where do we go when hope runs out?
 When we're empty, when there's nothing left?"

As I was thinking about this, my Christmas station on pandora provided a timely answer, with the classic, "You Raise Me Up," sung by Josh Groban...

...When I am down, and oh my soul so weary. When troubles come and my heart burdened be. Then I am still, and wait here in the silence until You come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up so I can stand on mountains. You raise me up to walk on stormy seas. I am strong when I am on Your shoulders. You raise me up to more than I can be.

There is no life--no life--without its hunger. Each restless heart beats so imperfectly.
But when you come and I am filled with wonder, sometimes I think I glimpse eternity.

Let those words sink in and they are liable to give you chills (good chills).

Switchup! (don't like that song...but the transition works ha)

In the classic Christmas Carol story with good ol' Scrooge and the gang, Scrooge finds out a heap of unpleasantries about himself.  

So he changed.

Yes, honesty with yourself--about what you really think, or want, or hope, or believe--seems scary. 

But when we factor Christ into the equation, change becomes possible. Hopeful, even.

We don't need to wait around for the ghosts of Christmas to tell us we need to change. For one, all of us can realize that we could change for the better, in some way. 
For two, life itself gives us so many moments that are silently challenging us to be better. Some moments bigger than others. Get-goin' moments.

Nobody's story is the same. We all have different choices to make. 
I believe there are absolute rights and wrongs that can guide these choices...
...but I increasingly see that how those rights and wrongs should be applied to real life is not so black and white.
Are we strong enough to make the right decisions? Are we wise enough to know what the right decisions are?  Maybe not on our own. Luckily, we are not alone. 
Christmas is a time for many wonderful things. The most wonderful part, of course, is a celebration of the fact that Jesus Christ was born. 

The Hope of the world.

We don't have to be alone, because He came. 

So I guess my own little Christmas Carol goes something like this:
There will be moments in life that quietly direct us to evaluate ourselves. We might be faced with all of the smallness and problems inside us.

We decide if we will be strong enough to overcome all that 
by deciding to align ourselves with our Advocate and Friend,
Jesus the Christ!


Dec 20, 2011

First Off

First off,
"first off" is a very peculiar way to begin a list. First off of what? I'm curious as to the origins of that phrase.

I just happened to notice that I blogged 11 times in November. Take a moment to soak in this unplanned awesomeness. 11 posts in the month of 11 in the year of '11.

yes, this list is breaking the grammatical law of parallelism. To those who noticed: have you ever heard that variety is the spice of life? To those who didn't notice: don't worry 'bout it.

if you have never visited, you should.

Charles Bukowski's poem "Be Kind" was not at all what I expected it to be, based on the title. But I liked it.

"we are always asked
to understand the other person's
no matter how
foolish or

one is asked
to view
their total error
their life-waste
especially if they are

but age is the total
of our doing.
they have aged badly
because they have
out of focus,
they have refused to

not their fault?

whose fault?

I am asked to hide
my viewpoint
from them
for fear of their

age is no crime

but the shame
of a deliberately
wasted life

among so many


Wow, eh? 
(Tangent: sometimes people age badly for other reason than living their lives out of focus. Alzheimer's is what came to my mind.)
I think...hmmm. I think if we take this poem and use it as an excuse to judge others, we're no better off.
But it was a good reminder to me that, while we should try to respect other people and where they are coming from, that does not give us an excuse to stop striving to align ourselves with high ideals and morals.


Dec 19, 2011

Don't You Worry

Ok. Admittedly I've never been a huge fan of T-Swift (throw rocks at me later). But I really like a song I just heard by her called Ours.
Particularly this part:

"Don't you worry your pretty little mind,
People throw rocks at things that shine
And life makes love look hard.
The stakes are high, the water is rough
But this love is ours."

I think life makes a lot of things look hard.
Not surprising. Cuz life IS hard in so many different ways!
But some things turn out better than you ever could have hoped.

Not that those things are always simple.
But sometimes it feels grand to stop stressing about the details of how something will play out and enjoy what goes down along the way.

Easier said than done. But now and then,allow yourself to let it be easy.


Dec 16, 2011

Heap o' Livin'

Closed eyes. Deep breath. And...go!
That is how I know that the cutest old man where I work is about to recite a poem to me.
A favorite of his is by Edgar Guest, called "Home."
I think the fact that he tells it to me so often has endeared me to it.
Wanna share in this pleasure o' mine? :)

This is especially appropriate cuz I GET TO GO HOME AND SEE MY FAMILY (loved this semester...but yaaaaay for finals finally being finished.)

(Imagine a sweet, gruff centenarian voice)


"It takes a heap o' livin' in a house t' make it home,
A heap o' sun an' shadder, an' ye sometimes have t' roam
Afore y really 'preciate the things ye lef' behind
An' hunger fer 'em somehow, with 'em allus on yer mind.
It don't make any difference how rich ye get t' be,
How much yer chairs an' tables cost, how great yer luxury
It ain't home t' ye, though it be the palace of a king,
Until somehow yer soul is sort o' wrapped round everything.

Home ain't a place that gold can buy or get up in a minute;
Afore it's home there's got t' be a heap o' livin' in it;
Within the walls there's got t' be some babies born, and then
Right there ye've got t' bring 'em up t' women good, an' men;
And gradjerly, as time goes on, ye find ye wouldn't part
With anything they ever used--they've grown into yer heart:
The old high chairs, the playthings, too, the little shoes they wore
Ye hoard; an' if ye could ye'd keep the thumb marks on the door.

Ye've got t' weep t' make it home, ye've got t' sit an' sigh
An' watch beside a loved one's bed, an' know that Death is nigh;
An' in the stillness o' the night t' see Death's angel come,
An' close the eyes o' her that smiled,
An' leave her sweet voice dumb.
Fer these are scenes that grip the heart,
An' when yer tears are dried,
Ye find the home is dearer than it was, an' sanctified;
An' tuggin' at ye always are the pleasant memories
O' her that was an' is no more--ye can't escape from these.

Ye've got t' sing an' dance fer years, ye've got t' romp an' play,
An' learn t' love the things ye have by usin' 'em each day;
Even the roses 'round the porch must blossom year by year
Afore they 'come a part o' ye, suggestin' someone dear
Who used t' love 'em long ago, an' trained 'em jes' t' run
The way they do, so's they would get the early mornin' sun;
Ye've got t' love each brick an' stone from cellar up t' dome:
It takes a heap o' livin' in a house t' make it home."


Dec 6, 2011

A Blender Full of People

Many times I find myself amazed at how similar everyone is. 
We all struggle with similar emotions, whether we find ourselves as 

a (insert any label/description of a person)

a college student sitting on her couch typing this instead of her research paper (whaaat?)

Realizing our similarities can sometimes bring epiphany-like moments; you realize how silly all of your judgments are and can love people more!

It reminds me of a David Cook song that says,
"These scars we wear remind us
the more we change, the more we're all the same."

(I believe that. The more I grow up and change, the more I can love other people! I think part of that is because I understand them better. I get how they could make a certain mistake--cuz I've made it too now, or thought similarly.)


Though we are equally valuable (and we MUST remember that!) we are not all the same. 
And that is so great :)

The variety makes life so much better! 
Think of a beautiful salad.
Now mentally stick it in a blender.
This method will work if you're recovering from mouth/throat surgery, but let's face it:
the different parts make the salad great!

Reminds me of a poster I see a lot at school that says:
The whole is more than the sum of its parts.

(This poster has a picture of a rather unattractive butterfly. But we'll forgive it for the sake of its beautiful message.)

I am not the same as you.
But we can respect and appreciate each other despite that.
Heck, we can even enjoy the differences!


Dec 1, 2011


Happy December y'all!

I just came across an awesome idea!
(Via this blog:

This lady decided that on her birthday, she would do one random act of kindness for every year of her life.
For example, in this post, she turned 35 so took her kids around they did 35 intentional random acts of kindness.
How cool???

Sounds like a tradition I may just have to start. Thanks random blogging lady!

Of course, we should be kind all the time, but it is a cool idea to specifically plan that out. 

PS this song was free on itunes (yay) awhile ago, and I have been enjoying it quite a bit today. Tis both calming and motivating? 
(I didn't actually watch this video, so no guarantee, but the song is good!)